Hobby Farm

With the New Year I'm making a new beginning.  Visit me here.  No account needed to leave comments either!  I love you guys that much!

I'm still pretty depressed but I'm getting there.  --Xanax-- helped me get through the first couple days, thanks sis.  I don't think I've cried since Monday... 

Anywho...

J came up Friday night and he bought me a dozen red roses in a vase...they were sympathy flowers.  When I read the card, he started crying and I started crying.  This would be the first time I've ever seen him cry...it was nice to know that he does, because I seem to be crying all the time.  They are also very meaningful because he once told me that he would never buy anyone fresh flowers because they are a waste of money.  We wound up at the bar until closing time, it was the first time I'd ever gotten drunk off of Malibu.  I can drink a ton of that stuff and be fine, I must have drunk 2 tons Friday night.

Saturday we drove to the Millcreek Mall in Erie, PA and I proceeded to drag J through every department store in the mall and could not find black and white comforters for the girls, everything had brown in it.  Ugh!  We wound up going to Target, I found one I loved for Colleen and one for Simone that I didn't care for it too much but she seems to like it.  I also got the girls sheets at Target.  We then went to Bed, Bath & Beyond and to Marshalls to see if I could find a different comforter for Simone but no luck.  We got to Erie around 2:30 and we had to be at the comedy club by 7 pm so we were pretty rushed but we made it to the club about 20 minutes early and got drinks and dinner.  On our way home we stopped at the Wal-Mart in Edinboro and I bought the girls a bunch of "Santa" presents. 

Sunday I went to The Boot Box to get J's gifts; hunting boots, Carhartt zip-up hoodie, and a gift card.  I spent close to $400.  I then went to Wal-Mart in town and got gifts for his niece, nephew and mom.  Then I had to come into work and do payroll but it only took 1/2 hour and J was off gun shopping anyway.  We got home about the same time.  I wrapped gifts while he perused the internet for hunting crap.  My sister came over for a little bit and then me and J watched a movie.  My mom came over and helped me clean the girls rooms and put up their new curtains and make their beds with all their new stuff.

Monday we drove to Pittsburgh and got there around 2:30.  We went to his moms to drop off gifts but everyone was sleeping so we went to J's house and had lunch and watched some TV then we headed back over to his moms and then it was off to his aunt's house for their Christmas get together.  I've pretty much met most of J's dad's side of the family now.  J doesn't really talk to his mom's side too much.  We drove back home after the party and didn't get to bed till about 1:30 am. 

Tuesday, Christmas, J slept in and I got up and picked up the house a little, did some laundry and what not.  The girls got home around 3 pm and my sister came over.  The girls opened their gifts and checked out their "new" rooms then we were off to my moms for dinner and our gift exchange. 

Here is my list of Christmas presents I got, I think I made out pretty good:

From J:
Journey diamond necklace
Fuzzy green bath robe
Satiny Victoria Secret pajama set (the pants are just a little snug, so they will be going back)
VS Lingerie (what was he thinking?)
$50 gift card to Home Depot
$100 in a beautiful card

From my sister-in-law (she pulled my name for the gift exchange):
$100 gift card to Old Navy
Bissell Revolution Pet Vacuum

From my sister (just cuz she saw it and thought of me):
Super soft velour blanket for the living room
(the blanket I have in the living room currently...smells like Taco so it makes me cry but I don't want to wash it either.)

From Simone's Grand-parents:
A Columbia Jacket (yeah!)

From Simone:
Matching Gloves for the jacket
Bath wash set

From Colleen:
Hideously tacky watch (of course I pretended to love it!)
Scrap Book...which she filled out with all her information...so I guess it will be all about her.

From J's Mom:
$50 (I bought a throw blanket and a Joss Stone CD, and I've still got some money left.)
From my fabulous co-worker in our Massachusettes office:
$30 gift card to Old Navy

From co-workers in my office:
Large Jar Candle (Holly Berry Scent)
Bath stuff (Same as every year, I could open a store)

My sister and Mom are going shopping today and they took my girls with them.  J gave both the girls $50 and his mom gave them each $15, I really hope they don't spend it on more toys...I don't have room for the ones they have now.  J will be going home tonight but will be back on Friday and will be staying through New Year's Day, it's been nice being able to spend so much time with him. 

Well, I hope you all had a Merry Christmas. 

Takeo aka The Taco Dog slept with angels last night.  It was a car.  He was still breathing and I rushed him to vet but he was taking his last breaths as we carried him back to the exam room.  I spent an hour with his body and it was so hard to leave, I would have stayed all night but that wouldn't have been healthy.  He will be cremated.  I picked out a nice urn and got an engraved plaque that says:

Takeo
Sleep with Angels
12/18/07

I am a horrible wreck right now and all I want to do is stop thinking.  I'd love to reminisce about him and all the things I loved about him but I just can't do it right now.  I haven't slept or ate.  I can't pull my shit together and all I do is cry.  Fuck, this is way harder than anything.  Putting Annie down pales in comparison to the way this feels.  Taco was my best friend, my bed warmer, my everything.  I used to lay there with him and think about how hard it was going to be when he got old and died...but not this, this fucking sucks.

The bad luck I mean. 

We got pounded with snow and icy rain over the weekend.  We got a good foot of snow and where it has drifted is well up to my knees.  So anyway, last night at 10:30 pm I cleared a foot of snow off my truck and then again this morning I cleared another 3-4 inches off and then I started the truck up to defrost the ice for about an hour.  So I get in the trick to go to work and the next thing I know there is a big ole crack in the windshield.  Ya know, I really don't think I'm a horrible person or anything so I shouldn't be having all this horrible karma biting me in the ass every time I turn around.  I also took a good 15-20 minutes to shovel a path from the house to the road so the girls didn't have to walk through the snow to get to the bus and wouldn't you know it, as soon as I finished my neighbor came over and started plowing my driveway.  Ugh, what a waste of my time and effort.

We didn't do much this weekend.  The girls had their little mini repeat performance of their Christmas recital so J and I went to that and I posted pictures and I so hate my camera.  I had to use the zoom and the pictures looked great in the viewer but when I downloaded them to the computer they came out all fuzzy.  Then J and I went to lunch and to do a little pre-christmas shopping browsing.  I got a gift for Colleen's gift exchange at school and J picked up a gift for his nephew and we bought some wrapping paper and bows. 

My idea for the girls presents are to find things for their rooms (e.g. comforters, blankets, sheets, curtains, pillows, etc.)  The problem is I have an idea in my head and everytime I find something I want to get, they either have really bad reviews or they are out of stock and don't sell them at the local stores.  It is really frustrating me.  I want to do Simone's room in black, white and purple and Colleen's in black, white and pink.  I ordered their curtains from Wal-Mart (black velvet, oh la la.)  I can pick up the pillows anywhere.  I ordered the blankets from JC Penney (black microplush, mmmm furry.)  I found awesome looking comforters at walmart.com but I saw one of them at Wal-Mart and it was hideous so I don't want to order the one I found for Colleen because I'm afraid it will be ugly also.  So now, I am going to have to run all over Erie (town, 45 minutes away) to find them comforters and then sheets to match.  I'm thinking about getting black/white comforters and then bright purple/pink sheets.  I also have to get them a few things from Santa but that should be relatively easy since I've already got them a couple things ordered and they both need new socks and underwear, and I thought some new posters or framed prints for their walls would be nice because right now they have all kinds of random crap hung up and it doesn't look nice at all.  I still have no idea what to get J.  I am getting the nephew a couple outfits and my mom is getting 2 gift certificates, one I am getting in town for a spa-day and the other I am getting as an E-Gift certificate to a website where she orders some of her clothes so she can get new shoes, a coat or a nightgown (things she needs,) so I can order that as late as X-Mas eve.

Oh and yes, bonuses will be on time.  I should know how big mine is as of tomorrow.  I wished the would tack on an extra $1500 just to pay for all the crap I need to get done for my truck...new windshield, deductible for hit and run accident and a new wheel bearing.  I can't win I tell ya, I just can't.

Ok, it's not the best picture, and I'm not having the greatest hair-day, but here it is.